I cockslap morals
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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