So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
