Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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