i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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