Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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