i can't believe i had my finger in that
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize