its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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