i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
