Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
