i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
high people should be assigned attendants
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
