Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"

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(647): View more from Ontario

Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.

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(360): View more from Washington

I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.

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(323): View more from California

My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese

(818): View more from California

They know nothing, John Stoned.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!

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(614): View more from Ohio

The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one

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