I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize