Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
