Too much gin, very little bucket
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
