Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
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