i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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