i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize