How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize