Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
