Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.