He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.