i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.