Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.