Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
