dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
