I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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