There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.