i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"