Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me