Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!