like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
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Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
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Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.