Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize