He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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