his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize