I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
