Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
