After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize