i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You ruined the universe
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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