I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
