you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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