Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
