i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
