i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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