in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My feet surprised me
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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