O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
