drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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