She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
