check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
