Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize