U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
