shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
