I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
