you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
