No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
