The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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