Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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