And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
