mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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