Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
zippers are such a cool invention
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
