Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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