is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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