This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
