We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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