he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
