420 ftw
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize