I need to stop coming to work sober
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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