I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
