That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
