he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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