I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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