I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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