just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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