Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
