It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
