you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize