Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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