GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
