I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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