yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I don't think brook has ever known best
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
