bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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