we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
