You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
