I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
